Slave cookies
Start with your favorite cookie recipe (Mine is Neiman Marcus's chocolate chip) and add or subtract ingredients as you see fit. It's the variations that make them unique. The best part is that even if you aren't kitchen savvy enough to make toast there is no way you can mess these up. They come out perfect every time and they are never the same cookies twice.
NM chocolate chip cookie recipe
1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. light brown sugar
3 large tablespoon granulated sugar
1 large egg
2 teas. vanilla extract
1-3/4 c. all purpose flour
1/2 teas. baking powder
1/2 teas. baking soda
1/2 teas. salt
1-1/2 teas. instant espresso coffee powder
1-1/2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips
substitute 1/3 cup globby slobbery spitballs for large egg
substitute pee from the Goddess that you worship for espresso
(I drink enough coffee daily that My pee is probably a highly concentrated mixture of espresso and green tea so you get the same amount of caffeine but with the added benefit of all the antioxidants you wouldn't normally find in the NM recipe and a much bolder flavor.)
for extra crunchy cookies add a generous helping of clippings from freshly pedicured nails
several handfuls of hair from one brush recently used to coif
and several secret ingredients that I'll never reveal
Drop cookie dough on dirty kitchen floor mix it all together with sweaty barefeet. Stomp cookie dough onto baking sheet. Place in oven for about 15 minutes. Vwallaa! Perfect every time!
Thank You Goddess, You're really the most generous God i've ever worshiped.It'll be the best gift i'll have in my whole worthless life. i can't wait to receive those delicious cookies made by my only Goddess. Thank You Goddess Melanie, You gave my useless life the meaning to live. i'll eat every single bit of them and sure all will be video recorded
Worship You For Ever
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Lovely
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OMG...OMG!!!! I am howwwwwling with laughter! You are TOO much Princess! Outrageously Evil and Inspired. Hey! Thanks for the "shout out" too! xoxo
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What can this worthless slave do to earn a batch of Goddess's special cookies?
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Stand out
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LOL! i used to watch Martha Stewart with regularity (Speaking of "regularity," are You SURE those were chocolate chips You used and not something else?)...As i was saying, i used to watch Martha Stewart with regularity before her incarceration, when my whole belief system and faith in people crumbled like the proverbial cookie (what proverb that is escapes me), and i recall her using almost the identical recipe, except it involved pubic hairs. Why didn't You add in some of Your -- Oh, never mind...
Life isn't fair, Goddess, is it? arab shit slave gets these "Neiman Marcus Delights" and i get the first season of Gilligan's Island on DVD!
An arab shit slave wannabe,
cuckold bitch
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'except it involved pubic hairs. Why didn't You add in some of Your -- Oh, never mind...'
Because it doesn't look like a hairy armpit between My sexy legs. I'm smooth and silky. But I seem to remember receiving a large ziploc filled with your disgusting pubic hair about a year or so ago when I had you shear yourself. Maybe you'd like some cookies made out of those?
And who said you deserved anything for Christmas this year anyways?
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Oh, my...i'd forgotten ALL about those! (Wondering if i sent You anything else of a DNA-containing nature)
"Maybe you'd like some cookies made out of those?"
Well, no, because knowing at least a little of Your, uh, nature, i fear AFTER You'd watched me eat them, You'd tell me that they weren't, in fact, MY pubes, that MY DNA-containing pubes had been placed at various crime scenes around the metro, and, knowing that YOU are so deliciously smooth, well, i'd be left to wonder if they weren't my pubes, what burly man's pubes i'd just eaten! Could You, perhaps, use them as stuffing for a small needlepoint Christmas pillow or the like instead?
"And who said you deserved anything for Christmas this year anyways?"
Well, certainly not i! A lump of coal, i'm sure, is all i deserve, but at least i am taking comfort in the fact that in my vast readings and research on enemas, fueled by a fear of what You were having me pump into myself, i have not ran across a "coal enema" to this point. (Though i wouldn't put it past You to be the first to come up with one!) But please, let U/us not use coal and add to global warming. The shame i have of eating dog food from a filthy toilet bowl is enough, without feeling responsible for the fall of the planet!
Keeping it green, i am
Very truly Yours,
cuckold bitch "Ingestor of green enemas" (Gosh, that just sounds nasty and gross, doesn't it?)
How about this:
cuckold bitch "Intaker of environmentally-friendly enemas"
or
"Green and clean with no caffeine!"
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I see you're as over-wordy as always today.
And, just so you know I was thinking of you, I have a special peppermint Christmas enema in mind for you for the holiday.
you'll need peppermint castille soap (you can find it here http://www.rojo-enterprises.com/soaps_&_stands.htm) or pick up some peppermint oil from the baking aisle, (or just shove a handful of candycanes up your ass). I hear it's almost pleasant compared to the severely cramping milk and lemon juice you usually get.
Anyways, I just sent you an email so check your box.
And, Hey! Why are We talking about your Christmas presents instead of Mine? Unlike everyone else, I actually want socks for Christmas! So get on it! <3
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Yes, Goddess. But if i end up getting compliments on my flatulence, of if, by chance, i can't find the oil and have to use the candy canes and word gets out, and folks start calling me "the candyman," well, i'll...i'll...gosh, it just dawns on me that i don't know Your name, or where You live, or Your phone number or...and You know so very much about me, don't You, Goddess Melanie? Peppermint it is...
"Peppermint is relaxing and leaves a cool feeling."
It does sound kind of soothing, doesn't it? And does "a cool feeling" mean it'll feel literally cool and refreshing, or does it mean "a cool feeling" like, "Gosh, i am one cool dude"?
Gotta love the Rojo Enterprises slogan:
"You will find our products superior in the end" lol Smart alec bastards...
Well, damn, now i have that ol' "Candyman" song going through my mind, with the image of the "handful of candy canes" You mentioned shoved up my ass!
(Sung to the tune of "Candyman")
Who can take a handful, and shove 'em up his butt,
stretching his foramen like a dirty little slut?
The candyman can, the candyman can...
Damn You, Goddesss...damn You...
(Said in a quite, whispered, respectful kinda way!)
Off to purchase socks
With much respect,
cuckold bitch
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I must have caught you on one of your quieter days...
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LOL
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Oh, and, by my "regularity" comment, and questioning a certain ingredient, i meant did You, perhaps, use Ex-Lax chocolate. i did NOT, uh, mean something else! Though, in "hindsight," i suppose a gift going to a shit slave...
cuckold bitch
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