I have been so f'ing busy since getting back to Colorado that I haven't had time to write about My adventures in the midwest. Beside the humidity and bugs it was actually quite nice. I even got a chance to meet one of the slaves that has been crushing on Me for the last few months on the way home. he is a skinny little twerp with a thing for feet and a heart of gold. Just recently he even raised $500 at a fun run he held for a local Womens' Shelter. What a guy

We met in the middle of town and after luring Me out of the jewelry store with promises of pretty dresses we rushed off to Moda, an upscale boutique hidden in the depths of the Crown Point courthouse, and it was omg too cute! I could not control Myself from layering dress upon dress on My new BFF who just stood there with a silly grin on his face. I had modeled half the store and come to the conclusion that I wanted EVERYTHING when I saw the first wave of panic take hold of footloser. In a high pitched shaky voice he mentioned something about a sale rack in the corner and I laughed at what I was sure was supposed to be a joke. he started to go pale(r) as he took in the huge pile of $100 dresses I picked out. I smiled at him and powdered My nose while he nervously handed it all over to the sweet Macedonian Woman running the shop, who btw, was a great asset to My shopping. She was so helpful and even pulled out a few things for Me that I missed on My first run through the store. In fact, even one of twerpie's friends saw us together and was nice enough to show Me a couple of dresses he thought I would look totally hot in. haha. Indiana is sooo friendly! It's so much better than what you think. It took Me, hmmmm, maybe 20 minutes to rack up 8 or 9 outfits, mostly Jenny Han. And, omg was loserboy just so adorably cute with his hands shaking as the owner rang up hundreds of dollars worth of pretty silk dresses and handed the bags over to My boy. It was so much fun!

But dont think he didnt' get anything in return for all the $$$ we spent on Me. I brought along a little something as a souvenir from My trip -the dirty flipflops I wore through all the rest areas on the way. Yes, all of that succulent floor slime from restrooms, truckstops, and gas stations around the midwest that once coated the bottom of My flippy flops is now probably coating footfags tongue.

After leaving the boutique we stopped at a coffee shop for tea and a kickass t-shirt and then moved on to the shoe store. I really just wanted to get timmers alone for awhile so I skipped his offer of new shoes to drag him off to his place. Once we got there I jumped out of the car and spit My gum out on his dirty garage floor. Then, I stomped on it and twisted My foot around really good in the dirt -for some reason footloser thought I was killing his pet ants, apparently he missed Me spitting out the gum. So, it was even more of a surprise when we got inside and I told him to clean My shoes and he noticed the chewed up gum stuck to the bottom. he looked like a kid in a candy store! he went to town on My shoes devouring the gum and licking every last bit of dirt off them while I lounged on his (well, actually Princess Lyne's old) couch. he said it tasted so good that he chewed it all night long.

Then it was off to the kitchen for some trampling when I noticed a familiar looking tupperware container on his counter filled with pre-chewed strawberry shortcake. haha. It was the very same cake I sent him for his birthday! I intended to have him lick it off My feet but he sidetracked Me by pulling Me into his spare room to show Me where he is building My shrine. After that I checked out his bedroom and laid back on his bed while he gave Me an awesome foot massage that almost put Me to sleep. I only had enough time left to take a few pics in his beautiful garden before I had to get on with My drive back to Colorado. On the way to My car timmers had a brilliant idea 'why not stop at the ATM?' lol, so after grabbing some video outside the bank he carried My bags to the car and we said our goodbyes. he gave Me a hug and I took his wallet. I grabbed half the cash inside and left the rest for his date that night. dorko thanked Me for taking his money and breaking in his credit card and then I drove off laughing all the way to the expressway.

I can't wait til the next time I go back through and break his wallet again.